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esmeiolantheThe prompt for this story was “Defying conventions,” submitted by Mzyra. This story fits into Chapter 1 of Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge.
Suitable for all ages. CAVEAT: Does not contain much dialog from my actual Sim.
Dramatis Personae
Ruth Shankel, (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge founder and contralto.
Director #2, the second director Ruth worked with in college productions.
Draupadi, soprano.
Philip, tenor.
Abhijeet, bass-baritone.
Zeeshan, comic baritone.
Ben, tenor.
Fred, lyric baritone.
Bitter Mezzo-Soprano, as described.
Setting
Large rehearsal room, second floor.
DIRECTOR #2: Hello. Thank you for coming, everybody. I’ve got the parts all assigned. Draupadi, you’re Josephine. (hands her a folder of music and a copy of the script, hereinafter referred to as “a packet”)
(Everyone claps politely)
DIRECTOR #2: Ruth, you’re Little Buttercup. (hands her a packet)
(Everyone claps politely)
DIRECTOR #2: (eyeing Ruth’s hair) You can get those spikes out to fit under a wig, right?
RUTH: Yes.
DIRECTOR #2: Good. Philip, you’re Cousin Hebe. (hands him a packet) The rest of you ladies are sisters and cousins and aunts.
PHILIP: Wait – I’m Cousin Hebe?
DIRECTOR #2: Yes.
PHILIP: But I’m a tenor. I auditioned for Rafe.*
DIRECTOR #2: And you didn’t get Rafe. You got Cousin Hebe. You’ve got the whole gangly geek chic thing going on, and quite frankly, all my mezzo-sopranos suck. Take it or leave it.
PHILIP: (clutches his packet) I’ll take it!
(Most people clap politely, there are a few snickers)
DIRECTOR #2: Good. Abhijeet, you’re Dick Deadeye. (hands him a packet)
ABHIJEET: Arrrr!
(Everyone claps enthusiastically)
DIRECTOR #2: Zeeshan, you’re Sir Joseph. (hands him a packet)
(There is a smattering of applause and more than a few snickers as Philip and Zeeshan scoot their chairs a little further apart)
DIRECTOR #2: Ben, you’re Rafe. (hands him a packet)
BEN: Thanks! (begins flipping through his packet eagerly)
(Everyone claps politely)
BITTER MEZZO-SOPRANO: You can’t do that! Draupadi’s a good foot taller than him!
DIRECTOR #2: So what? It’s a convention that the tenor be taller than the soprano. Not law. Fred, you’re Captain Corcoran. (hands him a packet)
BITTER MEZZO-SOPRANO: WHAT?! They look nothing alike! Different skin color, different hair color, different eye color, different noses…!
DIRECTOR #2 (tightly): So we will give them identical wigs. And if that does not satisfy you, I’m sure the costume department could use some help.
BITTER MEZZO-SOPRANO: Well!! (flounces out)
DIRECTOR #2: Anyone else a slave to convention? Because if you are, the door is that way.
*“Rafe” is how the British would say the name “Ralph.” (Americans would say “Ralf.”) I deliberately misspell it so I pronounce it correctly.
Notes
The character of Cousin Hebe is a woman’s role; I have never seen or heard of a production where she was played by a man. Cousin Hebe is romantically linked to Sir Joseph, hence the merriment at the casting.
I did in fact once see an opera (not this one) in which the people playing father and son were of different races and from different countries; the costume department issued them identical wigs and glasses to convey relatedness. While Captain Corcoran and Rafe are not related, there is still a reason for conventional casting to prefer them to look at least somewhat similar.
Suitable for all ages. CAVEAT: Does not contain much dialog from my actual Sim.
Dramatis Personae
Ruth Shankel, (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge founder and contralto.
Director #2, the second director Ruth worked with in college productions.
Draupadi, soprano.
Philip, tenor.
Abhijeet, bass-baritone.
Zeeshan, comic baritone.
Ben, tenor.
Fred, lyric baritone.
Bitter Mezzo-Soprano, as described.
Setting
Large rehearsal room, second floor.
DIRECTOR #2: Hello. Thank you for coming, everybody. I’ve got the parts all assigned. Draupadi, you’re Josephine. (hands her a folder of music and a copy of the script, hereinafter referred to as “a packet”)
(Everyone claps politely)
DIRECTOR #2: Ruth, you’re Little Buttercup. (hands her a packet)
(Everyone claps politely)
DIRECTOR #2: (eyeing Ruth’s hair) You can get those spikes out to fit under a wig, right?
RUTH: Yes.
DIRECTOR #2: Good. Philip, you’re Cousin Hebe. (hands him a packet) The rest of you ladies are sisters and cousins and aunts.
PHILIP: Wait – I’m Cousin Hebe?
DIRECTOR #2: Yes.
PHILIP: But I’m a tenor. I auditioned for Rafe.*
DIRECTOR #2: And you didn’t get Rafe. You got Cousin Hebe. You’ve got the whole gangly geek chic thing going on, and quite frankly, all my mezzo-sopranos suck. Take it or leave it.
PHILIP: (clutches his packet) I’ll take it!
(Most people clap politely, there are a few snickers)
DIRECTOR #2: Good. Abhijeet, you’re Dick Deadeye. (hands him a packet)
ABHIJEET: Arrrr!
(Everyone claps enthusiastically)
DIRECTOR #2: Zeeshan, you’re Sir Joseph. (hands him a packet)
(There is a smattering of applause and more than a few snickers as Philip and Zeeshan scoot their chairs a little further apart)
DIRECTOR #2: Ben, you’re Rafe. (hands him a packet)
BEN: Thanks! (begins flipping through his packet eagerly)
(Everyone claps politely)
BITTER MEZZO-SOPRANO: You can’t do that! Draupadi’s a good foot taller than him!
DIRECTOR #2: So what? It’s a convention that the tenor be taller than the soprano. Not law. Fred, you’re Captain Corcoran. (hands him a packet)
BITTER MEZZO-SOPRANO: WHAT?! They look nothing alike! Different skin color, different hair color, different eye color, different noses…!
DIRECTOR #2 (tightly): So we will give them identical wigs. And if that does not satisfy you, I’m sure the costume department could use some help.
BITTER MEZZO-SOPRANO: Well!! (flounces out)
DIRECTOR #2: Anyone else a slave to convention? Because if you are, the door is that way.
*“Rafe” is how the British would say the name “Ralph.” (Americans would say “Ralf.”) I deliberately misspell it so I pronounce it correctly.
Notes
The character of Cousin Hebe is a woman’s role; I have never seen or heard of a production where she was played by a man. Cousin Hebe is romantically linked to Sir Joseph, hence the merriment at the casting.
I did in fact once see an opera (not this one) in which the people playing father and son were of different races and from different countries; the costume department issued them identical wigs and glasses to convey relatedness. While Captain Corcoran and Rafe are not related, there is still a reason for conventional casting to prefer them to look at least somewhat similar.
